BRAND NEW CONTEST AND OTHER NEWS
July 27th, 2008Everyone has been asking me about when we’ll have our next amazing Phil contest because everyone loves them so much. Especially the amazing chance to win an amazing prize in your mailbox! Well, wait no longer because it is now time for PHIL CONTEST 2!
PHIL EROTIC PHAN PHICTION CONTEST
The winner of this contest will have written a piece of Phil fan fiction which is written in “Phil Style” (we’ll know it when we see it!). The fan fiction has to be erotic in nature.
THE PRIZE
The winner of the contest will recieve in the mail an illustration of one of the scenes from the fan fiction. Holy cats, something to show Mom!
As always, you’re allowed to submit as many times as you like, and comment to this post with submissions. There is no required length to the fan fiction. The contest will be over exactly one week from now. Thank you kindly.
OTHER NEWS
Today’s Phil will be slightly late. But you won’t notice because you’re too busy writing amazing erotic fan fiction.
UPDATE: Steve’s car broke down so he can’t drive over to his office where the scanner is. Frown town. We’ll have it for you soon, I swear!
July 28th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Phil said, I love you.
Phil said, I’m going to touch you.
Phil said, I’m touching you.
July 28th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
This isn’t a submission, but a question on the contest. What are we supposed to write? Erotic fiction? Or Phiction?
July 31st, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Santa and Phil’s Mom
An Erotic Christmas Tale
Phil’s Mom and Santa:
PM: Santa is my son Phil on you’re Nice or Naughty list?
S: Phil is on my Naughty List this year for bad things.
PM: Isn’t there anything I can do sexually?
S: Sorry, Ma’am, my hands are busy making toys for girls
PM: I’m a girl and now come and be my toy
S: Ho ho ho merry Christmas
July 31st, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Bill and Mindy
The Unseen Temptations
Bill: Hello, I’m Bill
Mindy: Gosh I’m ready for sex
Mindy: I am engaged to Phil but I’m so ready I would do it with anyone
Mindy: Anyone with a beard that is
Bill: I have a beard
—
Bill: I don’t want you to be a cheater
Mindy: Fine I won’t be a cheater
Mindy: Would you mind helping me fix my pipes then
Bill: As long as I’m not cheating then okay
Mindy: They’re located between my legs and I need a man’s part to fix them
Bill: That sounds okay
- - -
Mindy: Whoops I cheated on Phil with you
Bill: Whoops
Mindy: Whoops
Bill: Whoops
Mindy and Bill kiss and can’t stop
August 1st, 2008 at 7:22 pm
It may not quite be in Phil style but WHATEVER MAN I wrote it anyways
Also maybe don’t read this at work???
Dim, red tinted light shone through Franklin Pierce’s blindfold. Faint sounds from outside reached his ears, but none of them were the ones he strained to hear.
He had been anticipating this day all week, just as he did every week. And just like the times before, Franklin Pierce was sitting on a simple wooden chair in the middle of his living room, naked, bound, and blindfolded. It wouldn’t be long before his weekly visitor came to call; Franklin Pierce was already sweating in anticipation. The curtains were drawn, and everything was set in place. He was just waiting for that one, perfect sound.
The scratch of wire on concrete could be heard out on the front step, and Franklin Pierce’s erection twitched against its restraints. He let out a little mewl of desire as he heard the clink of bottles tapping together and the sound of a key turning in the lock. A breeze whispered through the front parlor and into the living room, hardening his nipples and bringing with it the faint scent of a dairy.
“I’m the milkman. I’ve brought your week’s milk.”
It was his little secret. Only two people knew of Franklin Pierce’s affair, of his sensuous weekly visits. Nor did they know what their constant insults did to him, or how he relieved the sexual frustration they engendered in him every time they slandered his name. Only two people knew of his perversion, and only one of them could bring him the release he craved.
“Do you need any other help with milk?” asked the Milkman.
A slow smile crept across Franklin Pierce’s face. “I need help with my milk.” He wriggled in his chair, shaking his turgid member at his lover invitingly. A hand closed over it briefly, squeezing and then pulling away. A gentle caress on his shoulders, and hot breath in his ear: “Who needs help with milk, idiot. You are so dumb.” The derision elicited a lusty moan, and a drop of fluid slid down from the tip of Franklin Pierce’s penis. The Milkman’s mouth closed on Franklin Pierce’s, the Milkman gently tracing Franklin Pierce’s lips with his tongue before thrusting forcefully into the depths. After what seemed to Franklin Pierce like blissful, breathless hours, they parted.
“Moron.” Another moan. Hands callused from years of udder pulling ran along the side of Franklin Pierce’s head, tracing their way from his chin to his ears, to the straps of his blindfold. With a single deft pull, his sight was freed. Before him stood the single most arousing thing he had ever seen, the image that haunted his mind during those dull interim days. The Milkman stood before him, clad in nothing but his Holstein-pattern chest tattoo and trademark bow tie, engorged member jutting proudly forth from his loins.
“Imbecile. Dummy. Idiot. Cretin. Dimwit. Dolt. Dope.” Each insult was punctuated with a kiss, starting at Franklin Pierce’s chest and slowly trailing towards his crotch. His hairy thighs were covered in sticky runnels of pre-seminal fluid, the product of his excited straining against the ropes that held him. With sudden motion, the Milkman bobbed his head down over Franklin Pierce’s cock, burying it up to the hilt. Franklin Pierce moaned in ecstasy as the Milkman worked his tongue masterfully over the pulsing johnson that filled his mouth. Franklin Pierce fought again at his restraints, wanting nothing more than the freedom to thrust himself in and out of his lover. He cried out in frustration and desire. The Milkman lifted his head from his task, gazed at Franklin Pierce lovingly, and winked.
“I can deliver milk, too,” said Franklin Pierce, eyes twinkling with mischief. He glanced behind the Milkman, where he had dropped his bottles of milk, and nodded. “Help me deliver milk.” The Milkman smiled, reached for a bottle of milk, and poured half of it onto Franklin Pierce’s genitals. He then bent over, spread his buttocks, and poured the remainder of the bottle onto himself. The scent of milk and rectum filled Franklin Pierce’s nostrils, making his head spin. He barely even noticed the Milkman’s ass descending towards him.
With a visceral shock, Franklin Pierce’s throbbing knob pierced the Milkman’s anus, milk spurting around his member. They grunted in mutual pleasure as the Milkman began to bob up and down, his internal walls gripping Franklin Pierce’s organ like a vice. Sheer ecstasy coursed through their veins, and the mounting sensations began to overwhelm them.
It finally became too much to bear. With a frenzied cry of “Special delivery!” Franklin Pierce ejaculated deep into the Milkman, who achieved release at the same time, semen spraying out onto the room’s carpet. They slumped against each other, spent.
“I can deliver milk, too.”
“Thank you for the milk.”
~fin
August 6th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
–1
Phil: Hey Mindy
Mindy: Hey Phil
-
Phil: You look pretty today
Mindy: Thank you, Phil
-
Phil: You are very pretty today
Mindy: Thank you, Phil
–2
Phil: Hey Mindy
Mindy: Hey Phil
-
Phil: I like your hair
Mindy: Thank you, Phil
-
Phil: Your hair looks very beautiful
Mindy: Thank you, Phil
–3
Phil: Hey Mindy
Mindy: Hey Phil
-
Phil: I really like your lips
Mindy: Phil…
-
Mindy: Fuck me in the pussy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Phil: Okay